Finals. Ick.
Finals. The thorn that gets stuck in your ass and doesn't come out for a week. Moreso this semester than ever. I question why the hell the administrators think it's such a brilliant idea to have 6 major tests in one week. 4 of which are in a 48 hour period. What the hell do they expect from me? I'm not a machine, I'm a lazy ass.
So I need to get notes. You know, me and class are barely acquaintances. We see each other on holidays. You know, tests. I never take them 'cause I'm never there. I actually tried to finagle powerpoints off of a professor a few days ago and he laughed at me. I should get a cardboard cutout of myself and put it in the back of the room for all of my classes. Then maybe the professors won't hate me and would give me notes 14 hours before an exam.
On Monday I ordered Chinese food (General Tso's w/ white rice & an egg roll for those keeping track.) I swear I'm not lying - the fortune said "You are a perfectionist - don't spoil it." I had a good laugh, as did my fellow slackers.
I took the fortune with me to my first final, kinetics, with my patented C=PharmD hoodie on. I announced in front of the teacher that I needed a 6% on the final to get my "C". I then showed him my fortune. I thought he would appreciate the irony, but he just said, "Yeah, this really describes you." and sneered at me. Ok, so I don't come to your class. At least laugh at my pathetic attempt at humor... *sniff*. Oh well. For the coup d'grace, I got the final back yesterday and I somehow managed to get an 88% on it. I don't really know how. I accidently got a B for the class. Oh well. Then came the coup d'tat. I found out I have this professor on rotations. As Scooby of Doo would say, "Rut ro, Raggy!" At least it will be entertaining.
After the kinetics final, I get home at 6PM to study for the state/federal law exam with ethics at 3PM the next day. Translation: 700 pages of crap. I'm up until 4AM. I may be apathetic, but I don't need to fail. There is a line. A thin line. I sleep 3 hours, get up at 7, read more. Take law test. I need a 61% to get a C. The bastard made the last test cumulative AND worth 50% of the grade. Grrr.
After la'ethics I get home and dive right into Pathophys/therapeutcs. Alzheimers and renal diseases. They go together so well. Mmmhmm. I learned what PhosLo is for. The name makes sense. I had 14 hours to study for it after getting home from law. I waited until after dinner. And American Idol. And House. So, uh 10 hours to study. I used 6 to study. Got about 2 hours of sleep.
I get up at 7AM, stumble around, forget to shower, and I'm out the door by 7:30. I pick up a Vendi Caramel Light Frappachino from Starbucks. I didn't think that one through too well. By the time it kicked in, the test was over and I wanted to go home and nap but was too wired to lay down. Piss. The test itself sucked ass. She's one of those professors that bases the test off of lecture rather than notes. I need a 70% for a C. If I don't get it, I'm going to kill someone.
So that leads up to now. I'm chowing down on yet more General Tso's. I'm going to gain 5 pounds this week. Oh well. It's summer, I'll burn it off. I have a test tomorrow morning at 8AM, then another at 3PM, then another 11AM Friday. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.
One of my classmates had a good thought.
"This week is academic bulemia. You consume it, spew it back out, move one. Eat something else, spew it back out, move on. Eat something else, and so on. It's bullshit, man. There is no way any human alive can actually learn this shit. Sure, I can memorize it for the next day, but I won't remember it in a week."
True.
My fortune cookie reads "We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers." I think that means it's time for a nap. I reread this post and I see nothing but short little sentences. I'm sentence grunting. I'm mentally drained. Sleepytime...
So I need to get notes. You know, me and class are barely acquaintances. We see each other on holidays. You know, tests. I never take them 'cause I'm never there. I actually tried to finagle powerpoints off of a professor a few days ago and he laughed at me. I should get a cardboard cutout of myself and put it in the back of the room for all of my classes. Then maybe the professors won't hate me and would give me notes 14 hours before an exam.
On Monday I ordered Chinese food (General Tso's w/ white rice & an egg roll for those keeping track.) I swear I'm not lying - the fortune said "You are a perfectionist - don't spoil it." I had a good laugh, as did my fellow slackers.
I took the fortune with me to my first final, kinetics, with my patented C=PharmD hoodie on. I announced in front of the teacher that I needed a 6% on the final to get my "C". I then showed him my fortune. I thought he would appreciate the irony, but he just said, "Yeah, this really describes you." and sneered at me. Ok, so I don't come to your class. At least laugh at my pathetic attempt at humor... *sniff*. Oh well. For the coup d'grace, I got the final back yesterday and I somehow managed to get an 88% on it. I don't really know how. I accidently got a B for the class. Oh well. Then came the coup d'tat. I found out I have this professor on rotations. As Scooby of Doo would say, "Rut ro, Raggy!" At least it will be entertaining.
After the kinetics final, I get home at 6PM to study for the state/federal law exam with ethics at 3PM the next day. Translation: 700 pages of crap. I'm up until 4AM. I may be apathetic, but I don't need to fail. There is a line. A thin line. I sleep 3 hours, get up at 7, read more. Take law test. I need a 61% to get a C. The bastard made the last test cumulative AND worth 50% of the grade. Grrr.
After la'ethics I get home and dive right into Pathophys/therapeutcs. Alzheimers and renal diseases. They go together so well. Mmmhmm. I learned what PhosLo is for. The name makes sense. I had 14 hours to study for it after getting home from law. I waited until after dinner. And American Idol. And House. So, uh 10 hours to study. I used 6 to study. Got about 2 hours of sleep.
I get up at 7AM, stumble around, forget to shower, and I'm out the door by 7:30. I pick up a Vendi Caramel Light Frappachino from Starbucks. I didn't think that one through too well. By the time it kicked in, the test was over and I wanted to go home and nap but was too wired to lay down. Piss. The test itself sucked ass. She's one of those professors that bases the test off of lecture rather than notes. I need a 70% for a C. If I don't get it, I'm going to kill someone.
So that leads up to now. I'm chowing down on yet more General Tso's. I'm going to gain 5 pounds this week. Oh well. It's summer, I'll burn it off. I have a test tomorrow morning at 8AM, then another at 3PM, then another 11AM Friday. Jesus Christ on a pogo stick.
One of my classmates had a good thought.
"This week is academic bulemia. You consume it, spew it back out, move one. Eat something else, spew it back out, move on. Eat something else, and so on. It's bullshit, man. There is no way any human alive can actually learn this shit. Sure, I can memorize it for the next day, but I won't remember it in a week."
True.
My fortune cookie reads "We grow great by dreams. All big men are dreamers." I think that means it's time for a nap. I reread this post and I see nothing but short little sentences. I'm sentence grunting. I'm mentally drained. Sleepytime...
posted by --==-- | 12:16 PM
3 Comments:
Stuggle On.
I once got into an arguent with a professor during finals week over whether I was actually in his class or not, as he had never seen me during the quarter. You remind me a lot of the young drugnazi...Mem’ries....
Like the corners of my mind.....Misty water-colored memories.....
yah, your study habits mirror mine ALOT. first comes dinner, then comes, tv, then its time for the cats to go to bed (yah, you think their nocturnal until your up later than their lazy a**s), ok, now we can study.......till the sun rises....off to starbucks, nausea kicks in and then nap time.
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