I. Lazy Theory
II. Rotation V
III. People look up to R Kelly?
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I.
There should be a branch of philosophy designated to meet the needs of those that actually scheme and devise ways to be lazy. Many of our greatest inventions came from the desire to be lazy. Like the prostitute. But for some reason, working smarter, not harder is looked down upon in this society.
Once when I was in high school, my dad, who was a the time a grocery clerk at the Kroger in Belpre, OH, got me a job in the Kroger gas station. He said it was right up my alley - I sat in the air conditioning, turned on the gas pumps, and rang people out. Only an idiot could mess the job up.
Well...yeah...I messed the job up. I got fired because I chose to sit down in a stool while working rather than standing. Apparently I'm not supposed to try to do anything unless it is the hard way. Of course that's not the only reason he gave for firing me. Part of it was insisting on speaking in an Irish accent to customers. "Ay, that'll be $5 on pump #4, Laddy!" Apparently a manager of another store got pissed off. Fuck you, I need to entertain myself somehow.
Of course he "fired" me for a completely different reason than the real reason he wanted me gone because the real reason is that the guy was a shit-for-brains manager. He didn't like me because I tried to get the guy to make improvements in my work area. I remember the computer touch screen was messed up and never worked right, I needed a new broom to clean with because the current one was a metal band with 5 pieces of hay sticking out of it, the microphone made loud, screeching noises that temporarily made me deaf....and so on. I also came up with suggestions for improvements in the workflow and operations. I made a list of crap that was wrong and showed a senior coworker. He told me he'd show the guy. Now I assumed that most managers would actually like an employee that tries to think about shit and come up with improvements, but the guy didn't take it too well so he fired me. How dare I tell him how to do his job.
Yeah, that's a hell of a tangent. The hell was I talking about? Oh, right, lazy theory.
Now, I'm not talking about not doing my job, per se, but coming up with shortcuts that make my job easier or eliminate the pointless, idiotic parts of my job. For instance, when I worked a hospital, I got tired of mixing vancomycin piggybacks. I had to mix, measure, inject, swab, and on and on. Each one took me a while to make. So, with laziness being my incentive, I researched and found that they made these cool twist on 1 g vials. Without asking, I ordered them. We got them in, we started using them, and nobody ever asked how they got there. And the result, I have to do less work.
So what are the idiotic, pointless parts of rotations? Sadly, most of it. Unless you are at a major hospital or with a pharmacy school faculty mamber. Those are usually worthwhile.
So how do you incorporate this into rotations? I shall share an example - how to not actually be at rotations without doing so against the rules.
Ok - getting out of rotations early, sans lying or general nefarious doings. It sounds hard, but this is actually a snap. Here are a few tips.
I know this sounds counter-lazy-intuitive, but get all of your required work for the school done as fast as humanly possible. DO NOT PROCRASTINATE. Hell, get it all done before you walk in for the first day.
Why? Because most preceptors have you there specifically for the purpose of slave labor. When there is no more work for them to get you to do, they just tell you to "work on your project" and stick you in a small room for the rest of the day so they don't have to look at you. Now - if you have already done everything, you can reply back, "I'm done with it all." And what do they do? Send you home.
Another good strategy - work as few days with longer hours as possible. During this last rotation, I had the option of working 5-8s or 4-10s. Always chose the 4-10s. Why? Because, assuming you took the advise above, they will let you leave at the same time every day no matter the time you have remaining. Also, if you take a sick day, you get to stay home for more hours. If you have a school excused absence - same deal.
I would wager that I got off about 2 hours early every day. That adds up. I was there 16 days, so that's 32 hours - or three full 10 hour days, four full 8 hour days.
If you do research for a presentation or journal club, be sure to include studies you can't get via Pubmed or other electronic reference. This means you need release time to go to the university library and make copies.
That's just a sampling. The good ones are going to be held close to the vest.
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II.
So I just passed rotation V. It could best be described as "wham, bam, thank you ma'am." I went in, I did technician bitch work, I did the occasional dosing, I went home. Nothing too exciting. They made me do an inservice on USP 797. I'm amazed that the gov't is making us do all of this shit without any sort of actual evidence or studies in existence to back up the new regulations. The rules are all so very arbitrary. But because it's the most boring subject on the planet, I'll spare you the details. Who gives a shit about Iso Class 5 environments?
I'd give you the comments page, but the guy didn't write any. Probably because he didn't really take the time to get to know me. Not that I blame him, it's stupid to make an emotional investment in a kid that'll be around for one month.
So...uh...verbally...(this fucks up my series continuity...)
Positive:
My written work was the best he's ever seen.
I'm one of the better students he's ever had knowledge wise.
Negative:
I click my pen too much. It drives him nuts.
I laugh too much, especially at random times. It confuses him and he has no idea what the hell is going on.....or if I'm just crazy.
I seem to drift off mentally a lot. (The now ubiquitous "get tested for ADD" comment)
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III.
Who the fuck is this Akon guy? At first I thought it was "Akorn." But anyway, he came out of nowhere and he all of a sudden gets to do songs with these humongous acts. Snoop Dogg, Gwen Stefani, Bone Thugs. WTF? Who the hell is this guy? Then to cap it off - and I honestly think I'm the only person who has noticed this - the only song he's ever done himself is the EXACT same song as R Kelly's "
Ignition." His song is called "
Don't Matter." It's the same damn thing, different words. I'm sitting there listening to the song on the local top 40 station, WVAQ, and I'm singing the R Kelly lyrics, "Hot and fresh out the kitchen, Mama rollin that body got every man in here wishin, Sippin on coke and rum, I'm like so what I'm drunk.."- and they fit PERFECTLY. It's weird as hell. I thought maybe, hey, R Kelly is successful, the guy just wants to do what is successful.
However, the similarities do not end there.
Remember when R Kelly had sex with and eventually micturated upon a 14-year old girl? Well, this Akon dude apparently plucked a girl out of a crowd and performed a "simulated sex act" on her. And how old was she....
that's right 14 years old! That shit is hilarious. Find a better person to emulate Akorn. Hahahaha.
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Till next time, y'all's,
~~Apathetic~~
